ugh

There is this old woman that hangs around the eating places near my school that drives me crazy. Almost everyday when I'm at Wendy's (yes yes, I know its bad for you, but considering the alternatives, bring on the wendy's) she comes in and I've never seen her actually order something from there. She seems to just bring in random food items and eat them. Then she likes to talk to any victim nearby and interrupt your meals with:

• "Hey baby, do you know what time it is?" (she repeats this question about every 3 minutes)
• "Hey baby, can I have a quarter?" (I suppose to buy more of those random food items I talked about earlier)
• "Hey baby, it's so nice outside, go out and enjoy the day" (it can be 80 degrees outside and she still wears a coat)
• "Hey baby, do you know what the temperature is?" (once you give her the answer, she says the line mentioned above)
• "Hey baby, what will be the temperature tomorrow?" (do I look like a damn weatherman to you?)

Once last year, she came in and sat next to my friend and I while we were eating, asking all the questions you see above, while having this colossal booger plugging one of her nostrils, pulsating with every breath. Looked like the beginning of the next Blob movie. That image is forever burned into my mind, it still turns my stomach thinking about it. I've labeled her as "The booger lady" for identification purposes to my friends.

Continuing my rant, whats the deal with guys who will walk past a woman, stop dead in their tracks, practically break their necks, all in order to watch this woman's ass, which is 85% of the time filled with mass amounts of cellulite, and continue to stare at it while practically drooling until the ass is out of view?
Why stare at it at all? A glance I suppose is okay, but to make a scene out of it is just ridiculous. Sometimes a request for a phone number is yelled out, or a "Hey baby, come back here so I can talk to you" is muttered. Yes I know that quote isn't ghetto enough, I'm white, deal with it. Does that stuff actually work on a woman? I wouldn't want to tell my future kids "I met your mom on the street, she had a big ass, so i asked her for her phone number." How endearing.

wow

Somehow the entire building at my college stunk like tuna fish some time around 11:30. Everyone starts sniffing and looking at each other at who the culprit could be, the one strange person eating a tuna fish sandwich during class. No offender could be found, until it was realized that it was coming from the hallways. How do you manage to make an entire building smell like fish.

Nothing annoys me more than an overly loud phone that vibrates like a jackhammer. This woman’s phone vibrated so hard, distracting not only everyone in class, but the professor as well. I could feel the vibrations through my leg 6 feet away through a concrete floor. Did she reach down to shut off the phone? Nope. Of course not, that would be too sensible. Instead she allowed it to ring repeatedly, and at one point, a fellow student turned around and looked at the woman, to which she replied “It’ll stop eventually.”

Nice.

i love quotes

Friend: “my friend goes “god i’m so anal” to which i responded “psh, i love anal.” I don’t think before I speak.”

Thanks anonymous friend for the laugh.